Couples & Divorce Counselor

HomeCareersCouples & Divorce Counselor

“Couples or any configuration of relationships and families who invest in each other will be more skillful when facing life’s challenges. Just as a toddler looks back to see that their parents watch them advancing when learning to walk, we have one another to be that person who believes in us and cheers us on.”

Mary Andres, PsyD, Professor of Clinical Education, Rossier School of Education at the University of Southern California

The institution of marriage is one of society’s most basic expectations. As much as people want to be coupled and start families, marriage or long-term partnerships are not easy relationships to maintain. The CDC says that 2.4 couples per 1,000 will seek divorce. And even if people stay married without divorcing, they often need help improving their communication.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS 2024), the job outlook for marriage and family therapists, which has a lot of overlap with the field of couples and divorce counseling, is growing more rapidly than most U.S. occupations. In fact, the BLS predicted there would be a 154 percent jump in positions nationally between 2022 and 2032.

A couples and divorce counselor provides support services to individual clients as well as to couples and families who are experiencing stress related to their family or relationships. A divorce counselor will specifically shepherd couples through the divorce process, and encourage them to work through and consider issues, which may affect their ability to successfully co-parent (if children are involved) or go on to have other healthy relationships.

There are many environments in which a couples and divorce counselor can work, including schools, outpatient care facilities, substance abuse treatment centers, domestic violence shelters, and in their own private practices or group practices. They can work with people who are trying to save their marriages or those who have already decided to divorce and are seeking help with the decision-making involved in that process.

Counselors in this field may treat couples with a variety of issues, such as those related to religion or sexuality. Whatever the issue, a couples counselor should be dedicated to helping people overcome obstacles preventing them from developing healthy relationships. To enter this field, the first step is to earn a master’s degree in a counseling-related field. There are also many specialties available, including a focus on Christian counseling, counseling LGBTQ couples, and counseling multicultural relationships, among others.

If you are interested in a career helping clients work through the painful process of divorce or helping them with other issues that may ultimately strengthen their relationship, read on for the steps on how to become a couples and divorce counselor.

Ask an Expert: Mary Andres, PsyD

Dr. Mary Andres is a professor of clinical education at the Rossier School of Education at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles. Her areas of specialization have been in the treatment of substance abuse; working with couples and groups; sexuality and the treatment of sexual dysfunction; gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered concerns; and clinical supervision. Her research interests include experiential modes of learning and best practices in training and the development of therapists.

Dr. Andres volunteers as an external supervisor for doctoral candidates at the Los Angeles LGBT Center. She received her master’s in rehabilitation counseling and her doctorate in clinical psychology from Wright State University. She was a staff member at USC Counseling Services for 10 years, during which she was an adjunct faculty member in the USC School of Social Work from 1999 until 2005. She has been teaching for the counseling psychology program since 2000 before joining the faculty full-time in fall 2005.

Dr. Andres has also been a psychologist for Semester at Sea and the American Pavilion Student Internship Program at the Cannes Film Festival. She has been on the USC Lambda Alumni Board and is a past co-president. She is a current member of the Steering Committee for the Los Angeles County MFT Consortium, an organization dedicated to the training of MFT practitioners to serve competently in the LA County Public Mental Health System.

In partnership with faculty work, Dr. Andres has a private practice in Venice, California, specializing in couples work and working with adults on various identity and sexuality concerns.

CounselingSchools.com: What is something you wish the public understood about the field of marriage and couples counseling?

Dr. Andres: Relationships are demanding and need maintenance and care. Sometimes, the busyness of the world means partners come back to one another depleted, and where we used to be highly invested in the well-being of our relationships, we are now at home, depleted and interested in our own recuperation.

The investment in our relationships is vital. This is a building block, which means we are actually stronger and more resilient when engaging with the rest of the world and its demands. Couples or any configuration of relationships and families who invest in each other will be more skillful when facing life’s challenges. Just as a toddler looks back to see that their parents watch them advancing when learning to walk, we have one another to be that person who believes in us and cheers us on.

The effort to support is more often a learned behavior, a discipline, rather than pure instinct. We convey gratitude both because it is genuine and worth saying, and because we understand that the research endorses verbal expressiveness and acts of service in support and appreciation of our loved ones. This increases someone’s immunity. Just as a pack animal is safer in the group, our human condition thrives with connection.

Therapists can help make explicit best practices in relationships. They function as a mediator to help partners speak in a manner to be heard accurately and understood. There is often a didactic component of understanding co-created relationships and the importance of care for self as well as care for one another. Bad habits such as blaming or rationalizing are noted, and as each participant takes ownership of their wants and needs, then good communication and a working collaborative partnership can be refreshed.

Relationship needs change over time. This can be one of the safest relationships a person has. Often, when reflecting on the origin story, partners can recall the deep and abiding love they once felt and find some momentum to do the hard work.

Some relationships have run their course where the clear truth is that one or more of the partners do not see a path forward or desire to work on it. This dismantling of a relationship in a caring way can also benefit from therapeutic support. It may be that the partners are uncertain, and a new field of discernment counseling can help them look deeper into their ambivalent or conflicted feelings and decide which way to go.

CounselingSchools.com: What are some of the core values or philosophies that guide the curriculum?

Dr. Andres: As a practitioner who has been working with couples for 30 years and teaching MFT therapists in training, I believe it is important that clinicians have the following priorities when working within relationship systems:

Self-awareness, so our values are not imposed unconsciously
Cultural sensitivity and attunement, to listen and utilize the resources the clients bring
Curiosity, to not foreclose prematurely in a way of understanding, and to utilize clients’ input about their history and lives beyond our session
Staying big in the room, so that the clients feel reassured that we can handle whatever they bring in
Therapeutic silence, which allows clients to reflect on new learning opportunities
Theoretical conceptualization, which is the recognition of predictable patterns of behaviors and identities and appropriate interventions

How to Become a Couples & Divorce Counselor

When a relationship ends, it can take a surprising emotional and psychological toll on both the couple and any children who may be part of the union. Regardless of how the relationship ends, working through the process of divorcing and restarting a new life on different terms can be one of the most challenging events of a person’s life. If the relationship ends due to some trauma, such as infidelity or another breach-of-trust issue, it can be devastating indeed.

A qualified and skillful couples and divorce counselor will have many of the same qualifications as a licensed marriage and family therapist, and in fact, the educational requirements are very much the same.

Step 1: Graduate from High School or Obtain a GED (Four Years)

Similar to other mental health and therapy careers, a successful career as a couples and divorce counselor starts with an interest in psychology, counseling, or social work. While in high school, students who already know that they wish to work in the field of therapy may plan to take classes that support their future baccalaureate education by taking human development classes, biology and anatomy classes, psychology or sociology, and classes related to humanities and social sciences.

Students in high school may also prepare themselves by finding related volunteer work. This could involve starting support groups. Volunteer experience could involve working as a local social services agency, such as a domestic abuse shelter or soup kitchen. There can be a great deal of competition to get into a four-year college, so any advocacy or experience that sets one student apart from another could make a difference on the student getting into the college of their choice. Completing high school with a high grade point average would also be advised, as for many social science degrees, a minimum GPA of at least 3.00 is often required.

Step 2: Complete a Bachelor’s Degree (Four Years)

While the licensing phase of becoming a couples and divorce counselor takes place after the master’s degree, many educational requirements start at the baccalaureate level. Usually, individuals seeking to become a couples and divorce counselor or marriage and family therapist will start by earning a bachelor’s degree in a counseling-related field.

This typically means psychology, sociology, social work, counseling, nursing, pastoral counseling, or education, although students from any major can apply to become a marriage and family or couples and divorce therapist—though additional coursework may be required depending on the program and the undergraduate major. When planning volunteer, research, or coursework, focusing on topics related to marriage and/or family situations is advised. Accepting a graduate program typically requires completing a bachelor’s degree from a regionally accredited school.

While nearing the end of the bachelor’s degree, many students begin thinking about what school they want to attend for graduate school. COAMFTE, or the Commission on Accreditation for Marriage and Family Therapy Education, accredits marriage and family therapy educational programs. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), qualified candidates for licensure must have graduated from an accredited program and obtained at least two years of post-degree supervised clinical experience working in direct service to married couples.

Other factors to consider include whether or not the graduate school requires a GRE entrance exam. If it does, this can add weeks to months to a student’s timeline, to study for and take the test.

Step 3: Obtain a Master’s Degree (Two Years)

Once the decision is made as to which graduate school to attend, next is deciding on the program. For individuals interested in working with couples as a divorce counselor a graduate program in counseling is likely the best option. Many counseling master’s programs are in general clinical mental health counseling, with specializations available for marriage and family therapy.

Alternatively, some programs can be specifically for a degree as a counselor in marriage and family therapy with options for other specializations such as working with substance abuse issues, sexuality issues related to gender identity or general sexual development, or other specific populations of people.

For instance, Northcentral University‘s master of arts in marriage and family therapy has a military family therapy specialization. This program prepares counselors to work with individuals, couples, and families that are affiliated with the military. Students must have at least 100 hours of clinical experience in an approved military setting to obtain this specialization.

Most graduate programs require at least two years of full-time study. Some can be extended to three years, and some have part-time study options. These programs may also take place on campus, online, or have hybrid models with a mix of both in-person and online learning. The last half of the first year is typically taken up with a practicum, which is a period for the student to engage in observation and documentation. The program’s last year is typically an in-depth research project, often called a capstone project, and active internships in which the students work in a job-simulated environment under supervision.

Step 4: Pass Required Examinations (Timeline Varies)

Licensure to practice couples and divorce counseling usually falls under the same guidelines as that of a licensed marriage and family therapist. Each state has different requirements for this licensure stage. Still, for the most part, all involve graduation from an accredited college or program and passing a licensure exam approved by the individual state’s board of education. The student is advised to be sure to check with the licensing board of the state where they wish to practice to be sure of the requirements.

To practice as a licensed marital and family therapist (LMFT), students must pass the MFT National Examination, developed and managed by the Association of Marital and Family Therapy Regulatory Boards (AMFTRB). A practice exam is available.

The process for applying and completing the exam takes a month at a minimum. According to the AMFTRB, students start the process by applying to their state or jurisdiction board to determine or confirm eligibility for the test. The state will send a letter to confirm eligibility. There is often an online application and application or testing fee.

To register for the exam, students must first contact their jurisdiction and state board where they intend to become licensed. They should contact the state where they wish to work rather than where they may live. Students schedule with the testing company based on availability. After the exam, it takes about 20 days to receive the scores.

According to the AMFTRB, the MFT National Examination is given during a one-week window every month. They recommend allowing extra time in case of a non-passing score the first time.

Step 5: Apply for a Certification or License (Timeline Varies)

Steps for state licensure vary by state but are generally similar in scope. This typically means an application that documents graduation from a regionally accredited school with a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy (or in an allied field with graduate-level coursework in marriage and family therapy that meets that state’s board requirements).

Before obtaining licensure, the student should be expected to have completed a set amount of supervised work postgraduate experience. In Alabama, for instance, according to the AMFTRB, this amount is 200 hours of supervised work, along with 1,000 post-degree direct client hours. Two-hundred-and-fifty of these direct contact hours must be with couples or families physically present in the therapy room. A licensed MFT must supervise work.

In California, licensees must accrue 3,000 hours of supervised work experience and 104 weeks of supervision with a minimum of 500 hours with couples, families, and children. Experience can also be a combination of group psychotherapy; telehealth or telephone counseling; workshops, seminars, training sessions, and conferences, provided the maximum and minimum hours are met for each criterion. Approved supervisors in California must be LMFT’s licensed for a minimum of two years and take a six-hour supervision course every renewal period.

Step 6: Licensing Maintenance or Renewal (Timeline Varies)

According to the Licensed Professional Board of Examiners, the renewal of an LMFT license is mandatory every other year. Ten percent of licensees are audited and must provide documentation of at least 40 Continuing Education Hours. CEH requirements vary by state but typically include work or training in approved content areas. Of the 40 CEHs required, 20 must be in marriage and family therapy. If a license expires, the individual must re-apply for licensure under the current licensure requirements for their state.

Couples & Divorce Counselors Education Programs

The most common education path for couples and divorce counselors is to complete a master’s degree in marriage and family counseling, although a master’s degree in counseling is also an option. Below are some programs that will prepare professionals for this career.

North Central University

North Central University offers an online master’s of arts in marriage and family therapy. This program was the first COAMFTE-accredited distance learning program and provides rigorous training to help students develop into competent, ethical, culturally sensitive marriage and family therapists. This degree is designed with an emphasis on empowering students so they can make a difference wherever their work takes them by providing quality therapeutic services that meet international standards set forth through COA accreditation.

Students must complete at least 45 credits hours, but that may be more depending on where they will pursue licensure. In addition to the didactic online classes, students will complete supervised in-person clinical experience in their community.

Location: San Diego, CA
Duration: 33 months
Accreditation: Commission on Accreditation for Marriage and Family Therapy Education (COAMFTE)

Northwestern University

The Family Institute at Northwestern University offers an online master’s degree in marriage and family therapy, which follows high research, education, and clinical services standards. This program can be completed full-time or part-time to suit students’ needs. In total, students will complete 24 graduate-level courses to earn this degree.

The faculty at Northwestern has helped develop the Integrative Systemic Therapeutic (IST) model, which values client participation in developing therapy plans and providing tools to systematically address complex factors. The IST model is woven throughout the entire program including classes in concepts of systems of therapy, intimate relationships, and family therapy.

Location: St. Evanston, IL
Duration: 21 to 36 months
Accreditation: Commission on Accreditation for Marriage and Family Therapy Education (COAMFTE)

Southern Connecticut State University

The unique marriage and family therapy degree at Southern Connecticut State University is designed to prepare students for a lifetime of working in therapy. Students select between two or three-year tracks, beginning with dyadic coursework and progressing to seeing clients at the university’s on-site clinic. They then gain more exposure to clients during their last year with off-site clinical experiences. The low 15 students to one faculty member ratio ensures students have ample access to their professors.

This rigorous academic program includes classes such as family systems, treatment issues, systemic psychopathology, and couples’ therapy. The additional comprehensive clinical training ensures students are well-equipped when it comes time to take on their own patients. There is strong emphasis on culturally appropriate therapy.

Location: New Haven, CT
Duration: Two to three years
Accreditation: Commission on Accreditation for Marriage and Family Therapy Education (COAMFTE)

USC Rossier

As a premier research university, USC takes a holistic approach to addressing mental health issues through its curriculum by blending science and practice and providing academic knowledge with real-world application.

USC’s online master of science in marriage and family therapy explores cultural and social cues like body language, facial expressions, and community contexts to help students become effective, versatile therapists in both telehealth and in-person settings. USC’s MFT online program aims to give students the means to positively influence their communities, placing equal emphasis on research and skill-building instruction to prepare students for a career in the mental healthcare industry.

The university’s MFT program meets the requirements established by the California Board of Behavioral Sciences for licensure as a marriage and family therapist. It provides a pathway to licensure, though it does not satisfy all requirements for licensure upon program completion.

Along with the coursework, students must complete 3,000 hours of supervised clinical work (including as many as 1,000 hours toward the requirement prior to graduation) along with the successful completion of both the California Law and Ethics exam and the clinical exam coordinated by the California Board of Behavioral Sciences. California requirements are similar as many other states, though USC recommends students identify whether the California MFT will satisfy another state’s licensure requirements prior to entering the program.

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Duration: Two years (full-time), four years (part-time)
Accreditation: The program meets the California Board of Behavioral Sciences requirements and provides graduates eligibility for the State of California’s Marriage and Family Therapy license

What Do Couples & Divorce Counselors Do?

First and foremost, couples and divorce counselors must create an environment in which their clients feel welcome and supported and feel comfortable disclosing often deeply personal thoughts and feelings. Couples and divorce counselors must possess strong interpersonal communication and listening skills. Empathy and compassion are of utmost importance. A counselor with a Christian focus can guide couples through their issues within the framework of their religious choices. A counselor who specializes in sexuality or gender identity could help someone through the process of coming out, gender affirmation and/or transition. Others may help a multicultural couple work through differences in their cultural expectations.

Most people think about going to marriage counseling if something traumatic has happened and their marriage is in trouble. Often, a marriage or family therapist can work through issues that are straining a marriage, such as having a child with special needs or an issue such as infidelity. Couples counselors work primarily with people in committed relationships as opposed to families or children, although they can help couples deal with childhood issues such as children’s conduct disorders, adolescent drug abuse, autism, or chronic illness in adults and children, all of which could lead to relationship distress and conflict.

A divorce counselor works with patients to help them through the divorce process. According to the AAMFT, couples counseling is typically solution-focused and short-term. They say that sessions wrap up in 12 sessions, on average, while nearly 67 percent of the cases are completed within 20 sessions. About half of the treatment provided by couples and family counselors is one-on-one with the other half divided between marital/couple and family therapy, or a combination of treatments.

A divorce counselor could shepherd the couple through the pre- and post-process of divorce, including working on a parenting plan, splitting assets, accepting future relationships, or other issues. Even if the couple decides to divorce, working with a divorce counselor to help them understand their emotional response to their marriage can help them get along and work out problems more effectively at any point in their lives. When working with a professional, the chances of a positive outcome, however defined by the parties involved, are much higher.

How Much Do Couples & Divorce Counselors Make?

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS May 2023), marriage and family therapists had the following salary averages and percentiles:

Number employed in the U.S.: 63,340 MFTs
Average annual salary (mean): $68,730
10th percentile: $39,090
25th percentile: $45,250
50th percentile (median): $58,510
75th percentile: $78,440
90th percentile: $104,710

Couples & Divorce Counselor Professional Associations & Resources

American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT)
International Association of Marriage and Family Counselors (IAMFC)
National Council on Family Relations (NCFR)
International Family Therapy Association (IFTA)
American Family Therapy Academy (AFTA)
European Family Therapy Association (EFTA)
Commission on Accreditation of Marriage and Family Therapy Education (COAMFTE)
American Counseling Association
American Mental Health Counselors Association (AMHCA) [https://www.amhca.org/home]
Family Solutions Institute [https://familysolutionsinstitute.com/]

Vanessa Salvia

Writer

Vanessa Salvia is an Oregon-based freelance writer and editor with a bachelor’s degree in chemistry. As fun as rigorous studies in math and science were, Vanessa took an independent path and developed a prolific career covering lifestyle and healthcare topics for magazines and newspapers, important industries such as concrete construction and building waterproofing, and even hard science. You can get in touch at Sage Media and Marketing.