How to Teach Client Responsibility

Resistance

All clients can become resistant to therapy for a variety of reasons. Clients may view responsibility as a loss of freedom, yet it is through setting boundaries that people experience more freedom. A clear expectation of what will happen decreases anxiety and gives one a sense of certainty in an uncertain world. We cannot control other people, but we can learn to control our responses. This is where our point of power comes from.  

Rather than view resistance as a roadblock to counseling, resistance can be utilized as part of the treatment process. With proper awareness and attention, resistance can be seen as transference and utilized for your client’s growth. Transference is an opportunity for the counselor and client to learn about each other and must be discussed within the counseling session. Newman from Cognitive and Behavioral Practice cites, 

Clients sometimes work in opposition to their therapists, a phenomenon known as “resistance.” Such behavior is not simply an impediment to treatment, but also a potentially rich source of information about each client. This information can be assessed and utilized to strengthen the therapeutic relationship, help the therapist better understand the ideographic obstacles to change, and devise interventions that may motivate the client toward therapeutic activity and growth.

How to Teach Responsibility without Shaming or Blaming Your Client

Be in the Now – The best teachings come from the therapeutic relationship itself. Counselors naturally model responsibility each time they are attentive, show up, and are ready to do the work of a counselor. Boundaries are best when flexible and taught through compassionate care, in the moment. When clients show instances of responsibility, validate those efforts. Any time clients are not taking personal responsibility, gently confront those instances.

Empathic Confrontation – Empathy validates others, which helps them feel understood and seen. Empathy alone is not enough to teach responsible behaviors. Empathic confrontation is a counseling technique counselors employ to get clients unstuck by addressing their behavior in a gentle but directive manner. Farrell & Shaw state, “Empathic confrontation can be defined as the therapist’s approach to addressing early maladaptive schemas and dysfunctional mode behavior, with empathy for how they developed, balanced by confronting these behaviors as needing to change for the patient to have a healthy life.” 

Demonstrate Authenticity- There can be times when counselors are not taking or showing their responsibility, within the therapeutic relationship. Counselors must be self-aware, acknowledge when their words and actions do not match, and discuss that within the therapeutic relationship. If a client notices a counselor’s lack of responsibility and expresses it in session, the counselor must listen openly, validate the client’s experience, and take personal responsibility. Any defensiveness on the part of the counselor will decrease relationship trust and erode any efforts of personal responsibility taught. 

When counselors take personal responsibility, it can build a stronger bond of trust. Clients see that counselors are, like themselves, human and imperfect. This supports clients in taking responsibility, learning that they may falter but can make amends.

Use Self-Determination Theory (SDT)- According to self-determination theory, counselors can work to enhance our client’s competence, autonomy and relatedness, which will support their self-responsibility. Legault 2017 notes, 

Self-determination theory offers a broad framework for understanding human motivation and personality by defining the psychological nutrients required for optimal motivation, engagement, and well-being. SDT underscores the idea that people’s relationships and social contexts must involve and support their fundamental human needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness. 

Give Rewards Through Positive Praise– Behavioral counselors utilize rewards to encourage behavioral change, such as taking personal responsibility. Scott et al., 2022 states, 

Behavior modification is a type of behavior therapy. B.F. Skinner demonstrated that behavior could be shaped through reinforcement and/or punishment. Skinner noted that a reinforcer is a consequence that increases the likelihood of behavior to recur, while punishment is a consequence that decreases the chance. Positive and negative are used in mathematical terms. Positive indicates that something is added, and negative indicates something is subtracted or taken away. Thus, positive reinforcement occurs when a behavior is encouraged by rewards.

One type of reward that can be implemented in therapy is verbal validation and encouragement. Rewards work best when they are closely timed to the behavior. For example, when your client has acted responsibly by paying for the session in full or arriving on time, it is important to acknowledge the action immediately. Clients, who are children, can receive stickers for each task for which they demonstrate age-appropriate responsibility.